Yellow Split Pea Soup

I am addicted to soup. It's cheap, easy to make, freezes extraordinarily well, and makes great leftovers. I also work in substandard conditions and am frequently cold for one-third of my day. Therefore, consuming warm beverages and food is essential for maintaining a normal body temperature. Actually, I do not work in a poor environment, but I do sit near a window, which likely contributes to the unchanging presence of goosebumps on my arms, legs, and neck. 

Being that I do not buy meat (I'm not a vegetarian, but I live alone and am incapable of cooking in small scale, which means that meat products have a high probability of spoiling), I live off vegetables, legumes, and pasta and am always looking for new recipes that offer some variation from traditional vegetable soup. I've been wanting to make pea soup for a while now, but have always been a bit apprehensive because of a horrible pressure cooker story that I'd heard years ago. Then I remembered that I don't own a pressure cooker, so the chances of my pea soup hitting the ceiling are low. 

I had every intention of making green split pea soup because that's all I've ever known. However, when I made my weekly pilgrimage to the market, I quickly realized that the green bits were straight up sold out, with yellow being my only option. Ah, whatever... I bought them and hoped for the best. 

Ingredients:

1 onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, pressed

2 tbsp olive oil

1/2 tsp oregano

1 tsp pepper

8 carrots, chopped

1 pound dried split yellow peas (about 2 1/4 cups or one standard-sized bag)

10 cups stock

salt to taste

Method: 

1. First and foremost, soak your peas for a little bit. This will release some of the starch. Dump them into a bowl and cover them with water and let them sit while you chop and saute your carrots and onions. 

2. In a stock pot, saute onions in oil. Once they are translucent, add carrots and garlic. Continue sauteing for a few more minutes. 

3. Drain pea water. 

4. Add peas and all remaining ingredients to the stock pot. Let simmer for about 45 minutes, skimming foam off top every so often. 

5. So here's the deal. When I tried this as the recipe was originally written (not as written here), the soup was too thick and was almost like a thick puree. So, I decided to add more water and blend. If the soup is not too thick, cool; enjoy as written. If it's too thick, add some water and blend it. 

** You can also make this in a crock pot if you so choose!

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Popovers!

As some of you may know, I have been extremely stressed and nauseous for the past... I don't know, month or so? I was getting to the point where I would vomit up nearly everything I ate, and was losing a lot of weight as a result (the benefit of having a broken heart)!  So what's a sweet girl to eat during times like this? POPOVERS. They are light and barely contain any ingredients, making them an awesome food candidate for people whose stomachs are sensitive.

Most of the popover recipes that I have found involve a two-step baking process, which requires a non-preheated oven and turning the temperature down in the middle of the baking process. The first time I made these, I wasn't in the position where I wanted to sit by the oven and wait for the timer to go off so that I could knock the temp down a few notches. Screw that, I had better things to do... like cry in bed. Ha ha.

That's when I turned to my first edition (not sure which printing, as the title page has been removed) Betty Crocker New Picture Cookbook. The thing is old as fuck, but has some really great recipes. By the way, excuse my bad language, but really, if you can't handle it, don't read my blog. Anyway, this recipe involves a single step! Woot! And best of all, it has four ingredients! And to BOOT, it didn't make me want to puke up my innards! Win-win-win (as Michael Scott would say).

Ingredients:
1 cup flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup milk
2 eggs

Method:
1. Preheat oven to 425'.

2. Combine all ingredients and mix until the batter is smooth.

3. Pour batter into greased muffin tins (do not line with papers). You should get about 10.

4. I don't really remember how long I baked them for. Check them around 30 minutes. The cookbook calls for 40-45, but had I let them bake that long, they would have been completely burnt.

5. Enjoy right away! Rip the tops off those bastards and give the halves a good smear of jam.

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Accidentally Delicious Brownies

You can tell by their namesake that these brownies turned out deliciously by accident. The truth is, they are the result of several massive fuck ups, but it turns out that my inattention to detail actually had a positive ending this time. Hosannah!

I know this is a crappy picture, but what do you really
want from me at 10:30pm? You're lucky you got this!

As I wandered around my apartment in my flower-print bathrobe last night, I was overcome by a tremendous urge to experiment with a new recipe. Therefore, I whipped out a cookbook given to me ten years ago, flipped straight to the brownies section, and decided on a recipe that didn't call for a lot of butter (I didn't want to waste it on a recipe that may have failed). The recipe was simple enough: Put butter, water, and sugar in a saucepan. Melt, then add chocolate chips. Then, combine baking soda, flour, and salt in another bowl. Two strikes. Then I realized that I didn't have any vanilla left. Three strikes, and you're out. Halt! Not so fast!

I quickly worked my magic and made the necessary modifications to prevent a potential disaster from occurring. I don't like warm brownies, so I had to wait till the morning to find out that God was looking down on me when I scrambled around the kitchen that fateful evening. 

Ingredients:

2/3 cup flour

1 scant tsp baking powder (original recipe called for 1/4 tsp baking soda)

1/4 tsp salt

12 oz bag of chocolate chips (I used minis)

2 tbsp unsalted butter

2 tbsp water

1/2 cup sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp almond extract (original recipe called for vanilla)

Generous sprinkle of cinnamon (this wasn't in the original recipe, but I added for good measure)

I hope I'm not forgetting anything critical

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 325'. 

2. In a saucepan, combine sugar, water, and butter. Heat over a low flame and stir continuously until the butter is melted. I accidentally added the sugar to the flour, which meant that I was heating only the butter and water. Whatever. 

3. Once your butter mixture is melted, stir in half of the chocolate chips and stir until smooth and melty. Pour into a mixing bowl. Add eggs and almond extract.

4. Combine flour, baking powder, and salt. Add to your chocolate mixture. Scrape bowl with a rubber spatula.

5. Mix in remaining chocolate morsels. 

6. Pour into a prepared baking dish and level out by shaking. I believe I used an 8x8.

7. Bake for 25-30 minutes. My oven is a little bit ghetto, so I think it took about 30 minutes to get these suckers cooked all the way. 

8. Allow to cool completely and stuff your face with chocolatey goodness.

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Bodacious Beer Bread

I owe this recipe to my friend, Charlotte, who inspired me to turn my favorite beer into something edible. When she sent it to me, I was a bit skeptical because it was so easy. I mean, there were only a few ingredients, and I thought to myself, "How can something with so few ingredients be translated into something tasty?" Well, I gave her recipe a try, making only one and a half modifications, and it was sensational.

I can't speak for the original recipe since I used half whole wheat flour, but the texture is dense and grainy- but in a very good way, almost like cornbread. This would be awesome when consumed with chili or as toast. I have been eating it plain and with lentil soup. 

After approximately fifty minutes of baking

Let's talk about the taste, shall we? It does not taste like beer. In fact, it is very sweet and not at all hoppy. Perhaps that's because I don't drink very hoppy beer, but I did use something that is a combination of both smooth and bold. Redhook ESB. Boy, oh boy, was I thrilled to learn that my local packy carries this stuff because let me tell you, not many do. Thrilled. I was absolutely just thrilled beyond belief when I stumbled upon this in the cooler. 

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups white flour

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

5 tsp baking powder

1 1/2 tsp salt

1/2 cup sugar

12 oz. bottle of beer (The taste will vary based your beverage of choice. I would not recommend using anything that is marketed as the king of anything.)

butter for spreading and greasing

** The original recipe calls for 3 cups self rising flour, 1/2 cup sugar, 12 oz. beer, and butter.

See all that foam? That's beer. YUM!

Method: 

1. Preheat oven to 375'.

2. Butter a loaf pan. Use real butter, not cooking spray.

3. Combine all ingredients and mix. The dough will be sticky, but worry not. It's supposed to be. 

4. Dump your concoction in your loaf pan and smooth the top a bit. 

5. Bake for 40 minutes. Spread butter all over the top. Bake for another 10 minutes. 

This shit is amazing. Make some for me?

Just before it went into the oven

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