Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Baby Heirloom Tomato Salad: Part II

Guys have this incredible way of messing with your metabolism. What do I mean? Let us examine the following case study: Boy is very sweet to girl in such a way that gives her butterflies, which causes her to feel so nervous that the very thought of food causes her to become nauseous, and maybe-- JUST MAYBE, she throws up a little bit of yogurt when she becomes SO unglued. This lasts for as long as said boy continues to say sweet things to said girl. She then begins to lose lots of weight due to her lack of food consumption. Once the budding relationship begins to normal out, girl regains her appetite and makes a conscious effort to gain two pounds so that her cute little pants once again fit correctly. Then out of nowhere, male fecal specimen begins acting like a hyena, which causes the female sweetheart to go into #fuckhim mode. She then begins to eat cookies-- and lots of them. And before she knows it, she has gained six pounds, four over her intention. Really, miss? Yes, guys, this shit really happens. All the time.

Why am I telling you this? Because I think I have found the answer to losing weight after a wildly intense relationship with E.L. Fudge. It's tomato salad. Last Friday, I gave y'all a recipe for a sort of Caprese salad, which I'm sure you immediately prepared because you're an intelligent person with good taste. 

So I ate a lot of that salad, and I loved it so much that I wanted to make it again last night. However, given that I am currently fighting the battle of the bulge, I did not want to include cheese; I fear that it, in conjunction with cookies, is responsible for the squish aka my recently gelatinous midsection.  So there I stood in Trader Joes, nearly stamping my feet like some sort of Barbarian, trying to figure out what to put in my salad to make it look abundant. 

Then, bitch, it hit me. Add more tomatoes. Really? Yes, the girl who hates tomatoes decided to add THREE WHOLE Beefsteak tomatoes to a pound of baby heirlooms. Aside from feeling like I was going to gag as I sliced those bad boys into chunks that I don't want to talk about, it was really good. I'm telling all of you non-believers out there, that once you douse them in oil and vinegar, you've got yourself a delicious bowl of antioxidants. 

So what are you waiting for? Do it up!
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