Yellow Split Pea Soup

I am addicted to soup. It's cheap, easy to make, freezes extraordinarily well, and makes great leftovers. I also work in substandard conditions and am frequently cold for one-third of my day. Therefore, consuming warm beverages and food is essential for maintaining a normal body temperature. Actually, I do not work in a poor environment, but I do sit near a window, which likely contributes to the unchanging presence of goosebumps on my arms, legs, and neck. 

Being that I do not buy meat (I'm not a vegetarian, but I live alone and am incapable of cooking in small scale, which means that meat products have a high probability of spoiling), I live off vegetables, legumes, and pasta and am always looking for new recipes that offer some variation from traditional vegetable soup. I've been wanting to make pea soup for a while now, but have always been a bit apprehensive because of a horrible pressure cooker story that I'd heard years ago. Then I remembered that I don't own a pressure cooker, so the chances of my pea soup hitting the ceiling are low. 

I had every intention of making green split pea soup because that's all I've ever known. However, when I made my weekly pilgrimage to the market, I quickly realized that the green bits were straight up sold out, with yellow being my only option. Ah, whatever... I bought them and hoped for the best. 

Ingredients:

1 onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, pressed

2 tbsp olive oil

1/2 tsp oregano

1 tsp pepper

8 carrots, chopped

1 pound dried split yellow peas (about 2 1/4 cups or one standard-sized bag)

10 cups stock

salt to taste

Method: 

1. First and foremost, soak your peas for a little bit. This will release some of the starch. Dump them into a bowl and cover them with water and let them sit while you chop and saute your carrots and onions. 

2. In a stock pot, saute onions in oil. Once they are translucent, add carrots and garlic. Continue sauteing for a few more minutes. 

3. Drain pea water. 

4. Add peas and all remaining ingredients to the stock pot. Let simmer for about 45 minutes, skimming foam off top every so often. 

5. So here's the deal. When I tried this as the recipe was originally written (not as written here), the soup was too thick and was almost like a thick puree. So, I decided to add more water and blend. If the soup is not too thick, cool; enjoy as written. If it's too thick, add some water and blend it. 

** You can also make this in a crock pot if you so choose!

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Laudable Lentil Soup

I have been living off lentils, macaroni and cheese, beer bread, and split peas for the last two weeks, so as you can imagine, it's a damn good thing that I've got an awesomely easy recipe for lentil soup! Yes, the recipe is better than the one you've been using for years. How do I know? OH... I KNOW.

So the thing about lentils is that they're extremely versatile. You can use them to make Indian cuisine, veggie burgers, soup, salad, and things that I don't even know about yet! Hell, in a few years, I bet the next big thing will be lentil milk. Gross, but I may actually be on to something. Did you hear that? It's the sound of my bank account exploding because of my brilliant money-making venture! Anyway, because soup is cheap and low in calories if you do it right, my dear, I am a soup girl. I could seriously eat soup all day, every day, for the rest of my life, provided you slip me chocolate cupcake every now and again.

So here it is: My lentil soup recipe that doesn't call for anything weird. Cross my heart.

Ingredients:
8 cups chicken stock
2 cups uncooked lentils
1/2 tsp thyme (I didn't have thyme the second time I made it, so I used sage, and it turned out just fine)
1/2 tsp pepper
4 carrots, diced
2 onions, chopped
2 tsp oil for sauteing
4 bay leaves
salt to taste

Method:
1. In a large stock pot, saute your onions in 2 tsp oil. I don't generally do this because I prefer to keep fat out of my soup. However, sauteing the onions makes them sweet, which nicely complements the salty stock. So this time, branch out and saute those suckers until they're as transparent as a trampy top.

2. After your onions have become a bit clear, throw in everything else. Be reckless; dump everything in with no rhyme or reason. I am in no position to judge.

3. Simmer on medium for about 45 minutes or until your lentils are nice and soft.

4. Tell your husband to call his mother to tell her that your cooking is better than hers. There's no sense in keeping your talents a secret.



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UH-mayzing Pumpkin Cream Soup

I'm not going to beat around the bush for even a moment here. I made the most delicious soup last night and I am so excited to share my recipe with y'all. Sadly, I did not take a picture because I was too excited to sit down and consume my delicious meal of pumpkinny creamy goodness.

So last Friday, I got my wisdom teeth removed and had been subsisting on protein shakes for the better part of a week. Naturally, I ended up getting sick of them, so I decided to whip up a few batches of soup. First was my old broccoli cheddar standby. It was delicious, but nothing that knocked my argyle socks off. The next night, I decided to try my hand at mashed potato soup, which was good, but needed a lot of sour cream in order to give it that extra something it lacked. And let's face it, I've gained back nearly every pound I lost during recovery, so the last thing I need are gobs of cellulite-causing gremlins adorning my food. Anyway. Anxious to experiment again, I decided to go for my favorite ingredient, and make... pumpkin soup! The recipe that I found was a little bland, but with modifications, it was definitely the best out of the three I had made in the previous days. I think I may even like it better than carrot soup.

So here it is, ladies and gentlemen... the recipe you've been waiting for to satisfy each and every one of your orange-hued urges!

Ingredients:
1 small onion, chopped
1 clove of garlic, pressed
1 tbsp butter for sauteing (I nearly omit butter in soup recipes, but trust me on this one)
1 standard-size can of pumpkin
1 12-oz can evaporated milk (reduced fat or fat-free works just fine!)
2 cups chicken stock
1/2 cup water
1 tbsp brown sugar
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp pepper
salt to taste

Method:
1. In a stock pot, saute onions in butter. Once the onions have begun to brown, add the garlic and continue sauteing for another 2-3 minutes.

2. Add stock, water, pepper, brown sugar, and cinnamon. Stir.

3. Add pumpkin and evaporated milk. Stir until well incorporated.

4. Let simmer on low for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add a dash of salt if necessary. I did.

5. Pour into blender and puree. This may seem like a ridiculous suggestion since the pumpkin is already pureed, but you want to get the onions all chopped up and mingled throughout.

6. Eat and enjoy! This didn't even need sour cream. Yum! Pin It

Freestyle Broccoli Quiche

Because of our chaotic schedules, Tuesday has been unoficially transformed into quiche night. I usually combine all of the ingredients the night before and pop the sealed container of raw ingredients in the fridge. That way, when Tuesday rolls around, all I have to do is pour the egg/broccoli mixture into a prepared pie plate and toss it in the oven for about an hour. Why don't I anticipate saving Tuesday time by pouring the mixture straight into my plate, you ask? The simple answer is that I don't trust that I won't spill it. What a horrible disaster that would be to have to clean up such a mess.

Anyway, on Monday night, I realized that I didn't have all of the ingredients that I normally use to make my standard broccoli quiche, so I did what any normal kitchen goddess would do. I improvised, and let me tell you, it was amazing! I used less milk and the leftover Mexican cheese that had been taking up residence in my refrigerator since the last time I made chili. I also didn't use any onions, which admittedly, aren't called for in my standard recipe, but are good to add in when your five pound bag of tear-creators is on the fritz.

I also omitted the crust, as I usually do, but this time, it was not by choice, but rather out of sheer necessity because I didn't have any butter kicking around. I know, I know... how does a girl who loves to bake not have a few tablespoons of butter laying around? Well my friends, had my seen my stomach bouncing around during my exercise sesh last night, you'd understand why.

Ingredients:
2-3 cloves pressed garlic
1 1/2 cups Mexican blend cheese (Kraft makes this one with a "touch" of Philadelphia in it... it's to die for!)
4 eggs
1 cup skim milk
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 bag frozen broccoli (I think this is a pound?), partially cooked via microwave

Method:
1. Preheat oven to 350'.

2. In bowl, beat eggs. Mix in salt, pepper, and garlic.

3. Add broccoli and cheese.

4. Pour egg-broccoli mixture into prepared pie plate.

5. Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour. Let set for a few minutes before serving. Pin It

Chicken Stew (What to do with leftover roaster chicken)

Being that I'm on a diet and making adequate progress (by adequate, I mean that I lose about 2 pounds per week, put the two pounds back on over the weekend, and then lose them again the next week), I am constantly brainstorming on how to make my favorite comfort food dishes a bit healthier. I'm not one to swap out so many ingredients that he final product has zero in common with the original dish, so I usually only change a minor thing or two. For this meal, I substituted cream for flour and salt.

Those of you who still believe that the Atkins Diet is a great way to lose weight, shame on you. And those of you who are shaking your head and thinking thinking that flour has a lot of calories, well shut yo' filthy mouf because while it does contain calories, it does not contain fat. Blah blah, argue with me about how "dangerous" carbs are all you want, but I'll just tune you out and remind myself that my brain on carbs functions better than your clogged arteries on protein.

Anyway, so immediately after I finished consuming my portion of the roasted chicken that I previously posted about, I picked the thing apart and tossed the cooked muscle (not to gross you out, but that's essentially what you're eating when you ravenously consume any animal... it's muscle, but I digress...) into my crock pot. Can we take a moment of silence to truly reflect on how amazing slow cookers are? You can make almost any meal without adding extra fat and oil and you can throw a bunch of stuff together before work and come home to a fragrant house. What I love the best, however, is that when I come home, my dinner is already made, which eliminates my need to eat a granola bar and a yogurt to diminish my nagging hunger pangs before dinner. It's amazing and I think I may celebrate its inventor's birthday.

Like some of my other recipes, some of the measurements arent's exactly accurate, but I'll do my best.

Ingredients:

All the picked chicken from the carcass

6 cups chicken stock (you can either buy this or make your own by boiling bones)

6 carrots (I used the two that were leftover from dinner and chopped another 4), sliced to 1/4" thick

3 celery ribs, chopped
3-4 cloves garlic, pressed

1 onion (I recycled the one from inside the chicken and just chopped it up)

4 potatoes, chopped

Peas (as you see fit)

Chicken drippings (I used all of them, but you could just as easily skip this step to reduce calorie count. Just be sure to season at the end.)

salt and pepper to taste

1/4- 1/3 cup flour mixed with equal parts cool water (this is a guesstimate... I have no idea how much I actually used)

Method:

1. Combine all ingredients aside from salt and pepper and flour in crock pot.

2. Cook for as long as you want (low, medium, high).

3. Just before serving, add the flour/water mixture. The purpose of this step is to thicken up the stew. Add more or less depending on how thick you like it.

4. Season with salt and pepper.

** If you want to go the extra mile, you could easily turn this into a pot pie by pouring it into a crust-lined pie plate and topping it with another crust. Proceed to brushing the top crust with egg wash and poking a few holes for venting. Seal the crust by pressing the edges down with a fork.

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Carrot Soup (You have 15 minutes, right?!)

History has never been my best subject, so the story I'm about to share may or may not be accurate. So during some war between the British and some other people, the very fawncy Englishmen heard that eating carrots would improve their eyesight. Therefore, in order to increase their odds of winning the war by being able to see their enemies, they gorged themselves with carrots. In fact, they ate so many that their skin turned orange! One summer day, my cousin and I, afraid of getting skin cancer, decided to test this theory and turn it into a rockin' tan. Our hue did not change, but I do believe we got sick because we each devoured about a pound of the orange stuff within a twelve hour period. Several years later, my mom got wind that I had been eating carrot soup for lunch and dinner for about a week straight and called to check up on me to make sure that my skin tone was not morphing into a certain color of the rainbow.

After realizing that the only part of my body that was affected by carrot soupapalooza was my weight (I lost eight pounds without trying). I decided to continue eating it for as long as I could stand. I have been making this recipe for a few years now, and it has yet to get old. It has the perfect blend of sweet and savory, and best of all, is loaded with vitamins. Also, it's a pretty awesome diet food because it's ridiculously low in calories but also extremely flavorful.

The measurements may not be totally exact due to the fact that I haven't actually measured anything other than the broth since 2009, but the instructions below should be more or less correct. Be daring and give my approximations a whirl. I mean- how bad can it be, right?

Ingredients:

1 pound-ish carrots, sliced into 1/2" thick chunks

6 cups chicken or vegetable stock

1 small onion, roughly chopped

1-2 cloves of garlic, pressed

pepper to taste

Method:

1. Locate the power cord, which should be connected to your crock pot. Insert into outlet.

2. Combine all ingredients.

3. Let cook on whatever setting you want. Need it in four hours? Done. Want to start this before work? Go ahead.

4. Once the cooking process has completed and the carrots are nice and soft, pour your soup (in batches) into a blender and puree the Hell out of it. Return each batch to large bowl or pot.

5. Combine all pureed batches and stir. If your soup is too thick for your liking, add water, and if so desired, a dash of salt. If it's too runny, oh well, better luck next time.

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Not Your Mama's Shepherd's Pie

It's likely that I am the last person on Earth to read the Harry Potter series, but I'm finally getting around to it, and am actually finding the books to be kind of exciting. So last night in an effort to embrace my budding Potter-inspired nerdiness, my lover and I decided to watch The Chamber of Secrets while indulging in a few recipes from the HP cookbook. We decided to make only dishes that were featured in the second book, which corny as it sounds, was actually pretty awesome. We made Treacle Pudding and Shepherd's Pie. Now, I assume that everyone who lives in the United States has eaten Shepherd's Pie at least once, but I can almost guarantee that you've never had it like this before! It's a bit more work than the traditional beef-corn-potato dish, but the extra effort is well worth it!

If you want to take the easy way out and use instant potatoes, go ahead, but it definitely won't taste the same. However, as someone who believes in eating home-cooked meals as much as possible, I'd rather see you go to town with potato flakes than to catch you dining at your neighborhood Burger King. You may not be aware of this, but you can eat like a "king" even in the comfort of your own home. You can even wear this to complete the experience. Just make sure you send me a picture.

Anyway, without further ado, I present an awesome recipe for Shepherd's Pie that will knock your socks straight into the hands of poor, self-injurious Dobby.

Ingredients:
1 1/2 lbs ground animal (I used a 20 oz package of ground turkey, and it was perfect)
1 small onion, chopped
2 tbsp oil
1 large carrot, chopped
1 cup chicken stock (I ghettofied this recipe by using a bouillon cube)
2 tbsp tomato paste
1-2 cloves garlic
Potatoes, chopped (I used about ten smallish ones that come in a 5 lb bag, but in the end, your amount of potatoes should be about equal to three russet potatoes)
3/4 cup milk
1 stick butter (yeah, it's a lot, but whatevs!)
1/4 tsp garlic powder (or to taste)
2 tsp salt
pepper to taste

Method:
1. Preheat oven to 350'. Prepare a deep 9 x 9 dish with non-stick spray.

2. Boil potatoes.

3. In one pan, brown whatever form of ground beast you choose.

4. In the meantime in another pan, saute the onions and garlic in 2 tbsp oil.

5. After about five minutes, when the onions begin to look semi-transparent, add tomato paste, chicken stock, and carrot. Allow to simmer for about 10 minutes or so. The carrots should begin to get soft and the sauce should begin to thicken.

6. Add meat to vegetable mixture and once combined, spread in the bottom of pan.

7. When the potatoes are done (I expect you know when to stop boiling potatoes), drain them. Return to pan, and add butter, milk, garlic, salt, and pepper. Use a hand mixer to free them of cellulite-looking lumps. Sigh... If only a hand mixer would solve that problem on my thighs. Cellulitis disappearus! Ugh... it's tough being a Muggle.

8. Spread potatoes over meat mixture and bake for 35-45 minutes.

9. Use a memory charm to banish your old recipe for Shepherd's Pie from your mind. Pin It

Curried Lentils (Incredibly Easy!)

As I mentioned in my "Welcome" post, I don't like to prepare dishes that require an arm and a leg's worth of spices. That is why I have become quite a fan of all-in-one seasonings. I tend to stay away from "Italian seasoning", but McCormick's curry powder is actually kind of delicious! I know, I know... a thousand Indians just freaked out right now, but ya' know what... it's good enough for my all-American palate! For those of you from Rhode Island, I offer you the following warning: do not purchase curry powder from Job Lot. I have done this, and while it was a different type of dish (creamy chicken curry), my plate still looked like Benjamin Moore had personally dumped a bucket of dandelion-colored paint over my food and then proceeded to add random spices that made it taste the way I imagine a Japanese/Mexican/Cajun breakfast would.

Another word of warning: Before you make this, make sure you're wearing clothing that you don't mind throwing in the wash immediately after. Also make sure that you don't have anywhere to be right after dinner. In other words... if you plan to leave the house after your meal, be sure to shower and put on fresh clothes.

Ingredients:
1/2 pound of lentils
1 tsp curry powder (the one that comes in the small plastic cylindrical container... no need to break the bank and buy the one in the fancy glass jar)
1/2 boiling onion, diced
1 or 2 cloves of garlic, crushed
3 cups chicken stock (Or you can follow my ghetto lead and use bullion + water)
3 carrots, cut into 1/2" discs


Method:
1. Get a large pot.

2. Combine all ingredients and turn the stove heat to high. Cover and let the stock come to a boil.

3. When the chicken stock comes to a boil, turn the heat to medium. Let simmer until the lentils are soft, about 45 minutes.

4. Serve with rice. To make rice that's equally as ghetto as the chicken stock, cook the rice as directed on the package and add a handful of coconut. Sometimes I add a little bit of sugar, too. The sweetness mixed with the spiciness of the curry is a great combination. I'm sure you could amp up this rice to make it more legit by adding creme of coconut, but I like to do things on the cheap, and I am satisfied with it this way!

Happy eating!! Pin It

Broccoli Quiche

You've figured out by now that I don't mind sparking up the oven when it's nearly 90 degrees outside. Call me crazy, but eating yogurt for dinner gets really old after a while, and by a while, I mean 30 seconds. First of all yogurt is not satisfying and second, yogurt is not satisfying. This is why I whip out "winter recipes" even when you can see steam rising from the pavement.

I adore quiche. It's easy to prepare, is packed with flavor (as long as you do it right), and is always excellent the next day. If you want to reduce the calories in this recipe, omit the pie crust. I have done this several times, (I suppose it ends up being a sort of fritatta), and it's still amazing.

Ingredients:
1 pie crust
2-3 cloves pressed garlic
1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella (I use 2%)
4 large or extra-large eggs (use egg substitute if you're cutting calories)
1 1/2 cups milk (I always use skim, and it's a-o-k.)
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
2 cups broccoli (If you're using frozen vegetables, make sure you thaw and DRAIN it, otherwise your pie will be very, very watery)
1/2 cup shredded Parmesan (this isn't necessary to the success of this recipe, but it's so. so. so. good.)

Method:
1. Preheat oven to 350'.

2. In bowl, beat eggs. Mix in salt, pepper, and garlic.

3. Add broccoli and mozzarella cheese.

4. Press pie crust into bottom of pie plate. Pour egg-broccoli mixture into crust. Sprinkle top with Parmesan cheese.

5. Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour.  Let set for a few minutes before serving.

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Pesto and Cannelini Bean Soup

It's July and in the 90's on a daily basis, and for some reason, you've given up eating soup for the season. I'll bet you're the same person who still wears all black to a funeral and refuses to wear white after labor day. Am I right? I say it's time to break all the nonsense rules you've been foolishly living by, starting with the no-soup-in-the-summer one and whip up a quick batch of this soup. It's simple, delicious, and although it contains olive oil (dreaded fat!), it's of the monounsaturated variety and actually has health benefits when consumed in moderation.

Eww... the dreaded M-word. Let's talk about that for a second. Chocolate (chip cookies, brownies, cupcakes, frosting...), nuts, peanut butter... when it comes to thighs, apparently, there is a lot of truth in the phrase, "too much of a good thing".

The method for this recipe is not very detailed, but I expect that most of you have made soup before. It's kind of a "combine and eat" recipe, although I will warn you, don't add the beans until later, as indicated. When cooked beans boil, they break apart and lose their texture.

Ingredients:
5 cloves garlic
2 cans cannellini beans (I adore these versatile little suckers and always have a stock of them in the cabinets)
1 cup water
3 tbsp pesto (there IS a difference between good pesto and cheap pesto, but for this, Classico is just fine)
3 cups chicken or veggie stock (or you can be wicked cheap like me and use... gasp... bouillon cubes!)
1 cup chopped celery
1 red pepper, chopped
Grated Parmesan cheese (a crucial part of this recipe)

Method:
1. Combine water, stock, celery, red pepper, garlic, and pesto and bring to a boil.

2. Drain and rinse the cannelini beans. The best way to do this is to suck it up and dirty your colander.

3. When the celery has begun to soften a bit (you don't want this mushy, but you also don't want it to have a snap to it), turn the heat down to medium and add the beans. Allow to cook for a few more minutes.

4. Ladle into bowls and let cool for a few minutes. Sprinkle a tablespoon of Parmesan cheese in each bowl. If you don't allow the soup to cool for a bit, the cheese (even grated) will melt and end up as a hardened mass on the tip of your spoon... and you won't be able to taste it.

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Risotto-Style Barley and Sauz-eege

For years now, I’ve been wanting to make risotto, but a) I don’t have the patience to stand over a fire like a chest-banging cavewoman so that I can constantly stir a pot of rice until it eventually takes on a creamy texture and b) I prefer whole grains over anything that Uncle Ben may or may not have promoted in an orange box. Don’t get me wrong, I adore white rice, but due to the excess poundage that has recently taken up residence on my body, I need to reduce the white and increase the tan. This is why I love, love, love barley-  because it can act as a chubby stand-in for rice, and more importantly, it’s a whole grain that’s packed with fiber. This is how I came to make “Frisotto”.

The first time I made this recipe, it was over 90 degrees outside, and let me tell you- I was miserable standing over that open flame, but after it was finally time to wipe the sweat mustache from off my face and serve the meal, I gave a deep sigh of relief and soaked up all the yumminess! This is definitely more of a cool-weather meal, but I’m a loon and tend to think that every day is an appropriate day to spark up a heat-emitting appliance, just like the way I feel that ballet flats with legit soft leather soles are appropriate footwear to sport during a weather channel-worthy snow storm. You may think I’m kidding, but I can assure you on every level that this is entirely true and the reason that my left second toe was numb for the majority of the winter season.  

The next time I make this, I will use my crock pot, which has been a Godsend.

So anyway, crank of your AC, strip down to your skivvies, and make this dish tonight. It’s definitely worth it.

Ingredients:

¾ pound chicken sausage (or you can try ground turkey and add more seasonings such as 2 cloves garlic, salt, pepper, basil)

1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes in juice

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 small boiling onion, finely chopped
1 cup barley
1/2 cup dry white wine (I used the absolute cheapest bottle I could find)
5 cups water
1 red bell pepper
1 tsp fennel seeds
1 bag baby spinach (usually comes in 6-ounce bags)
Parmesan Cheese

Salt and pepper to taste

Method:

1. Remove casings from sausage.

2. In a large stock pot, combine the sausage, onions, red pepper, olive oil, fennel seeds and garlic. With a wooden spoon, break up the sausage. Allow the sausage to cook and the onions, garlic, and red pepper get soft.

3. After a few minutes, add white wine.  A few minutes later, add the barley, undrained tomatoes (yup... just dump the whole can in), and water.

4. Allow to simmer for about 45 minutes.  Add spinach, stir in, and cover. Allow the spinach to wilt for a few minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste.

5. Just before serving, sprinkle Parmesan cheese over the top. As usual, shredded is best, but grated will work just fine!

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