Super Easy Diet-Friendly Brownies

As you can tell, I am quite the chocolate fanatic. Yes, I do eat foods other than those of the chocolate variety, but I haven't posted the recipes because they've been too simple (a whole baked chicken), repeats of old posts, or things that I haven't bothered to measure out. For example, I whipped up a side dish of whipped cauliflower/red potatoes. I didn't really measure my seasonings, so I figured that would be a pretty crappy post for a recipe blog.

Anyway, I've been doing really well on my diet and aside from the tablespoon of mini chocolate chips that I sprinkle on top of my plain yogurt, I haven't really been spoiling myself with the good stuff. That's why today, with my diet in mind, I pulled out "Old Reliable". Old Reliable is a ridiculously easy brownie recipes that calls for two ingredients. And while it won't leave you groaning, "Oh my goodness gracious, that's the best brownie I've ever had in all of my life," it will definitely satisfy your chocolate craving without forcing you to unbutton your pants. Don't judge me... you know you've done it while no one's looking.

So the two ingredients are black beans and a box of brownie mix. "What's up with the mix?!" you might be asking yourself. Well, my dear friends, the answer is quite simple. Creating a batch of brownies that each measure 2 x 2 and contain only 110 calories is easier that way. Sure, I've found recipes for "healthy" brownies, but the recipes are usually so disgustingly altered that there's no possible way that it could even taste like a brownie, let alone any sort of delicious treat. Also, even if I did do it the "right" way, I would have to spend like sixty big ones on a single batch. Here are my instructions to you: If you're seriously counting calories and aren't afraid to make a compromise in order to save yourself $56, make these. Like I said, they're not the most FABULOUS things you've ever tasted, but it certainly does the trick when your other option boasts three times the calories.

Ingredients:

1 can of black beans, drains

Water

I box of Ghiradelli brownie mix (Do yourself a favor and splurge on the Ghiradelli. The first time I made this, I bought the bargain brand. Let me tell you, they were so disgusting and fake tasting that I threw them out. Yup yup... I threw the whole God-forsaken tray out, which if you know me, is a deal of epic proportions.)

Method:

1. Preheat the oven to 325'.

2. Pour rinsed beans back into can. Fill said can with water.

3. Empty beans and water into blender and puree for a few minutes.

4. Empty brownie mix and bean puree into a bowl and mix, baby, mix!. There's nothing like burning calories while baking up a storm.

5. Pour batter into prepared 13 x 9 pan and pop the sucker in the oven for 30 minutes.

** A 13 x 9 pan will yield very thin brownies, but if you're contemplating making this, you're already conscious of portion sizes, right? Correct.

6. The next day, jump onto your scale and rejoice over the fact that you haven't packed on a few pounds! GO YOU!!

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Black Bean Burgers (You'd be crazy not to make 'em!)

Over the past thirty-six hours, I have had the pleasure of realizing how horrible it is to cook dried beans. First, I tried the eight-hour soaking method. After ten hours had lapsed, I tried the beans, which were only about forty percent softened. So I decided to boil them for a few minutes then let them sit in a covered pan overnight. That didn't work, either. So this morning, I boiled the little buggars again, then proceeded to let them sit in their own water for ten more hours. This finally did the trick, but seriously... All that work to save a lousy three dollars!

So anyway, I didn't know what to do with the beans once they were softened (I was actually just excited to cook them because I had never strayed from the canned variety), and then it hit me... black bean burgers! I scurried home with a general idea of how to make them, but once I made my way into the kitchen, my creative juices started flowing... and after they were done, so did my drool.

Ingredients:
1/4 lb dried black beans (or 1 can, drained and rinsed)
1 egg
1 very small onion, chopped
1 generous tsp basil
3 cloves garlic, crushed
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup bread crumbs (I used Italian blend. Also- If you're using canned beans, you may have to adjust this measurement because they may contain more moisture than the soaked ones)
3-4 tbsp ranch dressing (See note above regarding measurement adjustments.)
handful shredded Parmesan cheese

Sauce (Optional)
1/2 avocado
4ish tbsp ranch dressing
salt to taste

Method:
1. Cook your beans. Or, unless you're as cheap as me and three bucks really means that much to your poor soul (no pun intended),  support your favorite legume farmer and buy canned ones.

2. In a large bowl, mash beans with a fork. You don't have to mash them until they resemble baby food, but do mash them enough so that about 50% of them have exposed their white innards. Don't try to get all slick on me and use your food processor. You will end up with a mess and wonder why your burgers came out horribly.

3. Add all other ingredients and mix until everything is fully worked in. Mold into four patties.

4. In a skillet, fry your burgers in a tablespoon or two of oil. This should take about 5 minutes on each side.

5. To make sauce, mash avocado and mix it with dressing and salt.

6. Complete your burger by adding cheese, the avocado-ranch sauce, sliced avocado, tomato, lettuce, or whatever else you fancy. Pin It

Pasta and Creamy White Beans

When you don't eat a lot of meat and are deathly afraid of becoming anemic and/or developing Kwashiorkor, it's important to be creative when trying to incorporate iron and protein into your diet.  That's where beans come in- they're packed with iron, protein, and fiber, and are low in fat and calories. They're also super cheap, thereby making them an excellent choice for people looking to cook Moet & Chandon meals on a Keystone Light budget.

The recipe below calls for a lot of olive oil, which means that 95% of you will be too scared to make this, but before you write this recipe off forever, I beg you to please do a shred of research. As I've mentioned before, extra-virgin olive oil (when consumed in moderation) is good for you and is part of a heart-healthy diet. It contains the lowest saturated fat content and the highest monounsaturated fat of all oils. Olive oil is good for your hair, skin, and nails, and can actually help reduce your risk of heart disease. I'm no dietician, but I'm really good at justifying eating fatty foods!

So anyway, don't be scared to make this recipe! When made with whole wheat pasta, it contains all of your essential amino acids and will help protect you from having a heart attack for one more day.

Ingredients:
2 cans drained cannelinni beans
3/4 cup water
3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
3 large cloves of garlic, crushed
1 tsp salt
1 box pasta (I always use whole wheat shells)

Method:
1. Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Make pasta. Once it's fully cooked (not al dente!), drain and do not rinse. 

2. During all of step 1: In a sauce pan, combine olive oil, salt, and garlic. Allow to lightly simmer.

3. Once the olive oil begins to take on a slight garlic flavor, add the drained beans and water.

4. Allow the bean mixture to simmer on medium for a few minutes. You'll know it's simmered enough when the mixture begins to look mucus-y. That's right... I'm not afraid to say when my food resembles phlegm.

4. Once your beans etc. have begun to look really yellow and gross, remove from heat and smash about 90% of them with a fork or a spoon. If you own a spork, go ahead and use that.Your mixture will become creamy. Yum yum delish.

5. Put drained pasta back into its pan and pour bean sauce over it. Stir until evenly coated. Now eat it. It's SO good!


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Four Bean n' Veggie Salad

So ya' know those days when you're in dire need of a healthy meal, but have neither the time, nor the desire to cook? That's when you break out your can opener and go nuts as if your local library is having their annual book sale. Oh, you don't like getting once-read books for a quarter? Well excuse me... you must be too rich for my blood!

Anyway, this recipe is super easy and takes about ten minutes to make. Sure, I took the easy way out and chose not to soak beans for eight hours and spend my precious free time plucking corn kernels from off the cob, but it was absolutely delicious anyway! In addition to being delicious, it LOOKS amazing, which is really all that matters, right? Go ahead and sue me for being superficial. Seriously, though, this dish is packed with fiber, protein, and whatever nutrients are found in red peppers. I love it.

Ingredients:
1 can black beans
1 can small white beans (they're actually called that)
1 can yellow corn
1 can cut wax beans
1 can cut green beans
2 red bell peppers, chopped
1 large cucumber, chopped into chunks
1/2 bottle Kraft Lite Parmesan Asiago salad dressing

Method:
1. Drain and rinse all canned goods. Yes, I know it's soooo much work, but ya' gotta do it!

2. In a large bowl, combine rinsed beans and vegetables with fresh chopped cucumber and bell peppers.

3. Mix salad dressing in.

4. Serve either on its own or over a bed of salad. I served it over a bed of lettuce, and found that I wasn't able to scoop it up the way I would have liked to. Next time, I'll just serve as-is.

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Pesto and Cannelini Bean Soup

It's July and in the 90's on a daily basis, and for some reason, you've given up eating soup for the season. I'll bet you're the same person who still wears all black to a funeral and refuses to wear white after labor day. Am I right? I say it's time to break all the nonsense rules you've been foolishly living by, starting with the no-soup-in-the-summer one and whip up a quick batch of this soup. It's simple, delicious, and although it contains olive oil (dreaded fat!), it's of the monounsaturated variety and actually has health benefits when consumed in moderation.

Eww... the dreaded M-word. Let's talk about that for a second. Chocolate (chip cookies, brownies, cupcakes, frosting...), nuts, peanut butter... when it comes to thighs, apparently, there is a lot of truth in the phrase, "too much of a good thing".

The method for this recipe is not very detailed, but I expect that most of you have made soup before. It's kind of a "combine and eat" recipe, although I will warn you, don't add the beans until later, as indicated. When cooked beans boil, they break apart and lose their texture.

Ingredients:
5 cloves garlic
2 cans cannellini beans (I adore these versatile little suckers and always have a stock of them in the cabinets)
1 cup water
3 tbsp pesto (there IS a difference between good pesto and cheap pesto, but for this, Classico is just fine)
3 cups chicken or veggie stock (or you can be wicked cheap like me and use... gasp... bouillon cubes!)
1 cup chopped celery
1 red pepper, chopped
Grated Parmesan cheese (a crucial part of this recipe)

Method:
1. Combine water, stock, celery, red pepper, garlic, and pesto and bring to a boil.

2. Drain and rinse the cannelini beans. The best way to do this is to suck it up and dirty your colander.

3. When the celery has begun to soften a bit (you don't want this mushy, but you also don't want it to have a snap to it), turn the heat down to medium and add the beans. Allow to cook for a few more minutes.

4. Ladle into bowls and let cool for a few minutes. Sprinkle a tablespoon of Parmesan cheese in each bowl. If you don't allow the soup to cool for a bit, the cheese (even grated) will melt and end up as a hardened mass on the tip of your spoon... and you won't be able to taste it.

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