Shortbread

Shawwwwtay! No? Okay, then forget it, you humorless lump. Go ahead and make your old boring shortbread and I'll make it my way- the fun way. Just don't call asking for advice on increasing the probability of shortbread success.

As I mentioned when I first started blogging, I enjoy making and creating recipes from ingredients that I have at home. I don't like having to go out of my way to purchase a two-pound bag of weird crap that I'll use only once. With this philosophy in mind, my quest for the ultimate shortbread recipe was not tremendously difficult, but it did prove to be a bit search-intensive due to the fact that many recipes call for rice flour or something else that I don't typically have on my shelves. I sat in agony for days, crying out loud, "Dear God, will I EVER be able to make shortbread?!"

Yes. The answer is absolutely yes! And you won't have to use anything you don't already have in your cucina. Or at least I would hope you have flour, sugar, butter, and lemon extract laying around. I mean, they ARE staples.  Ugh, now I've gone and offended you again, huh? Wah, wah, wah...

Ingredients:
1 stick unsalted butter
2 cups flour
2/3 cup sugar
splash of lemon extract
sugar for sprinkling

Method:
1. Preheat oven to 350'.

2. Cream butter and sugar together until the mixture becomes light and fluffy. Mix in your lemon extract. I suppose I used a quarter of a teaspoon, but I didn't really measure. All I know is that they turned out fabulous.

3. Mix in flour. Give it a good stir, why don't you.

4. Form the dough into teaspoon-sized balls and place on an ungreased cookie sheet. In the center of each cookie, press your thumb down slightly.

5. Sprinkle with sugar, if desired. I would recommend doing this. You don't want to be boring, now do you?

6. Bake for about 12 minutes.

7. Obtain a gym membership because these might cause you to gain weight should you decide to eat the whole batch (speaking from experience). Pin It

Pumpkin Pop Cuties

As some of you may know, I am obsessed with all things pumpkin.There's just something so remarkably sweet about those cute little orange, plump, ribbed spheres of goodness. I love the way they taste, look, and smell (when combined with cinnamon et cetera). I should also mention that pumpkins are the only things I like about Halloween. To me, Halloween is just a scary time of year when evil-- and harlots-- are welcomed into society for a whole day. That's right... a whole day of scary and slutty. Oh dear.

So what's a girl to do during the season of Halloween madness? Well, my friends, I turn to pumpkin... and not the tainted ones that some creepy individuals choose to carve rather frightening faces into, either. I mean pure, unadulterated pumpkins in their unmarked flesh.

 

Anyway, I know it's early in the month, but I am already getting pumpkin fever, and Naturally, I wanted to try something creative that showcased my love for the sacred squash. So this is what I came up with: "White" chocolate covered marshmallows. It doesn't sound like much, but they're Ay-de-orable and I plan to make about three hundred more of them and force feed them to my loved ones in a last ditch effort to appear thin.

Ingredients/ Supplies:
1 cup orange candy melts (I used Wilton)
10 marshmallows (I used the store brand because they had a stronger shape. I bet it's because they were stale, but I found this preferable anyway.)
1 graham cracker
candy sticks
4 x 3 candy bags
green ribbon


Method:

1. Melt chocolate on the stove or in the microwave. If you're using the microwave, make sure to melt it in increments of thirty seconds so as to not burn the candy.

2. Crush your graham cracker and place the crumbs in a small dish. 

3. Poke the candy sticks into the center of each marshmallow and dip the marshmallow into the melted chocolate. I had to end up "frosting" my marshmallows because the chocolate wasn't thin enough. If you would like your chocolate to be thin enough to dip into, I'd suggest adding a teaspoon or so of shortening to the dish before microwaving.

4. Once the marshmallow has been adequately coated, press the bottom into the graham cracker crumbs. It looks like hay, doesn't it?! Let's just pretend it does.

At this point, my boyfriend said that he couldn't envision the final outcome. Instead, he said that they looked like pumpkin ejaculate. I can't make this stuff up.

5. Place your candy treat on a wax paper-lined dish. Once your treats are all made, pop the plate into the fridge for about 30 minutes to allow the chocolate to harden.

6. After lots of time has passed, remove the marshmallows and bag 'em up. Then tie a ribbon and admire your little pumpkin cuties. 

Here, he admitted that they looked cute and stated that if I chose to pack one in his lunch tomorrow, all of his coworkers would be jealous. I'm all about making eighteen year old girls feel inadequate about their kitchen skills.

Pin It