Chocolate Pistachio Icebox Cupcakes

As you may know by now, I gave up baking for Lent, which has since passed, but I have yet to have a moment to update my blog. That's not true; I just haven't felt interested in sharing lately. But I'm back and in generous form!

So as usual, I threw a birthday party for four of my coworkers, and although I ordered the majority of the food from LaSalle Bakery (OMG YUM!), I simply could not let a party pass without bringing something in. Add to that, the fact that the celebration took place two days before St. Patricks's Day, which meant that I felt compelled to make something green. Predicament #1: I had a sneaking suspicion that my coworkers (who think I'm crazy anyway) would not appreciate me blending up spinach smoothies. Predicament #2: I could not bake. What's a girl to do, what's a girl to do?

I pondered this for several weeks (hours, actually), and then it hit me. Icebox cake... in individual form! I'll admit that I was so excited about this idea that I bought the wafer cookies with which I would construct my masterpieces, one month in advance of the party. And there they sat in my cabinet, longing to be eaten. Worst month of my life, really.

So anyway, these are ridiculously easy, and would actually make a great kid-friendly kitchen project. I'll have to keep this in mind for when I have a slew of children running around my home.

Ingredients:
A box of thin wafer cookies. There is a Swedish brand that makes them.
1 pint heavy whipping cream
1 box pistachio pudding (Or you can use whatever you want)- Do not buy sugar free unless you enjoy the taste of chemicals.
Food coloring, if desired
Stuff to sprinkle on top. I wish I'd had rainbow sprinkles, but it seems as though mini CC's were all that were taking up residence in my food decoration pantry.






Method:
1. Combine heavy whipping cream and pudding in a large bowl.

2. With a hand mixer, beat the cream mixture for about five minutes, or until it reaches a thick, creamy consistency. This is actually how I make frosting the majority of the time!

3. Determine how high you want your cupcakes to be. These were made with three cookies. Then, count your cookies and divide them up!

4. Arrange wafer cookies into single layers and pipe or dollop whipped cream onto the bottom cookie. Press another cookie on top of the cream, and repeat.

5. Pipe one more dollop on the top cookie and sprinkle with fancy stuff, if desired.

6. Refrigerate for at least 8 hours so that the cookies get soft. I let my chill (ha ha... I love puns) overnight, then brought them to work in the morning, and served them around 1pm.











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Pumpkin Pop Cuties

As some of you may know, I am obsessed with all things pumpkin.There's just something so remarkably sweet about those cute little orange, plump, ribbed spheres of goodness. I love the way they taste, look, and smell (when combined with cinnamon et cetera). I should also mention that pumpkins are the only things I like about Halloween. To me, Halloween is just a scary time of year when evil-- and harlots-- are welcomed into society for a whole day. That's right... a whole day of scary and slutty. Oh dear.

So what's a girl to do during the season of Halloween madness? Well, my friends, I turn to pumpkin... and not the tainted ones that some creepy individuals choose to carve rather frightening faces into, either. I mean pure, unadulterated pumpkins in their unmarked flesh.

 

Anyway, I know it's early in the month, but I am already getting pumpkin fever, and Naturally, I wanted to try something creative that showcased my love for the sacred squash. So this is what I came up with: "White" chocolate covered marshmallows. It doesn't sound like much, but they're Ay-de-orable and I plan to make about three hundred more of them and force feed them to my loved ones in a last ditch effort to appear thin.

Ingredients/ Supplies:
1 cup orange candy melts (I used Wilton)
10 marshmallows (I used the store brand because they had a stronger shape. I bet it's because they were stale, but I found this preferable anyway.)
1 graham cracker
candy sticks
4 x 3 candy bags
green ribbon


Method:

1. Melt chocolate on the stove or in the microwave. If you're using the microwave, make sure to melt it in increments of thirty seconds so as to not burn the candy.

2. Crush your graham cracker and place the crumbs in a small dish. 

3. Poke the candy sticks into the center of each marshmallow and dip the marshmallow into the melted chocolate. I had to end up "frosting" my marshmallows because the chocolate wasn't thin enough. If you would like your chocolate to be thin enough to dip into, I'd suggest adding a teaspoon or so of shortening to the dish before microwaving.

4. Once the marshmallow has been adequately coated, press the bottom into the graham cracker crumbs. It looks like hay, doesn't it?! Let's just pretend it does.

At this point, my boyfriend said that he couldn't envision the final outcome. Instead, he said that they looked like pumpkin ejaculate. I can't make this stuff up.

5. Place your candy treat on a wax paper-lined dish. Once your treats are all made, pop the plate into the fridge for about 30 minutes to allow the chocolate to harden.

6. After lots of time has passed, remove the marshmallows and bag 'em up. Then tie a ribbon and admire your little pumpkin cuties. 

Here, he admitted that they looked cute and stated that if I chose to pack one in his lunch tomorrow, all of his coworkers would be jealous. I'm all about making eighteen year old girls feel inadequate about their kitchen skills.

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Award- Winning Lemon Squares

No joke, my friends... these really are award-winning. In fact, when I was a mere Brownie Girl Scout, I entered a bake-off with these little gems, and happened to walk out with a blue ribbon! My seven year old self was so thrilled about this triumph, that I swore that I would never forget the recipe that earned me the right to brag to EVERYONE I know for years to come. I'm happy to report that I have yet to let anyone forget that I am a blue-ribbon baker.

So what's so special about this recipe that it deserves its own space on my blog? Well other than the fact that a panel of experienced judges deemed it to be absolutely divine, it does look rather cute when presented on a platter. What else is awesome about this dessert is that it's a no-bake recipe, which I continue to grow increasingly fond of as the seasonal temperatures steadily rise.

Since the onset of summer, I have developed quite an affinity for no-bake desserts. As someone who thoroughly enjoys baking, this comes as a shock to me, too, but who can resist whipping up something amazing without developing massive stains in the axillary region? Certainly not me.

Ingredients:
2 1/2 cups Nilla wafer crumbs (this is equal to one box)
1 stick unsalted butter, melted
1 box instant lemon pudding
8 oz cream cheese, brought to room temperature
2 cups whole milk

Method:
1. Make Nilla wafer crumbs by placing whole cookies in either a blender or a food processor. Once you have all of your crumbs, pour them into a bowl of melted butter. As previously stated in the "ingredients" section of this recipe, make sure it's unsalted. If you try to be slick and use salted, please don't tell anyone that you got the recipe from my blog.

2. Press crumbs into a 9 x 13 baking pan. If you have the time (and I strongly recommend that you do), put your crumb-filled pan in the fridge for about an hour.

3. In a large bowl, combine the milk, pudding mix, and cream cheese. A word to the wise: Make sure the cream cheese has been brought to room temperature and therefore softened before attempting to blend into the milk and pudding. Otherwise, your mixture will be rather lumpy regardless of how long you used the hand mixer to whip it into shape.

4. After you have used your hand mixer to blend the ingredients, pour over the chilled cookie crumbs. Smooth evenly with a spatula and make a very fancy design, such as the silhouette of an ancient raptor skeleton. If you don't think it's possible to make pudding art, I challenge you to try.

5. Let your masterpiece kick it old school in the fridge for a few hours before serving.

** You could very easily turn this into a pie... just an idea for those of you who think you're above serving rectangles. Pin It

Frozen No-Bake Pumpkin Pie

What the flip was I thinking when I decided to make this? It's so unbelievably good and will probably be the demise of my "diet". By the way, I use the word "diet" very loosely because I always say that I'm trying to lose weight, yet I'm the one whipping up pies and shaking a pot like a mad woman in an effort to make the perfect pot of popcorn. I rest my case.

Anyway, pumpkin is one of my favorite flavors of all time. I am a crazy person who eats pumpkin out of the can... all year long, and finds an excuse to incorporate the orange stuff into any recipe. This includes cookies, oatmeal, scones, pancakes, and of course, pie.

Being that it's summer, however, who's really in the mood to turn on their oven and heat up their house even more than the blasted sun has already done? I would say not me, but that's entirely false. Most people, however, aren't keen on turning their oven up to 350' and letting it run for an hour.

That's where this pie comes in. It's super delicious and if you buy a graham cracker crust, will free you from having to bake. I was hoping that this blog would feature only healthy recipes, but what can I say? I'm human, and can't resist the occasional urge to fill my tummy with sugar in the form of marshmallow fluff. Are you going to judge me? Of course not, because that would mean that you're not going to make this, and if you DID judge me, and you DID make this, you'd be a hypocrite, right? Right.

So let today be a judgement-free day and we'll all celebrate by eating pumpkin mousse pie.

Ingredients:
1 Graham cracker crust (or if you want to be super fancy, you could make your own, but come onnn... why would you want to show me up?!)
1 15-ounce can pumpkin
7 ounces fluff (you can usually find 7 oz jars)
1/4 cup light brown sugar
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice (another one of my favorite "all in one" spices)
1 container cool whip (divided, if desired)

Method:
1. Combine pumpkin, fluff, brown sugar, and pumpkin pie spice. Stir until everything is evenly incorporated.

2. Fold whipped topping into pumpkin mixture. **If you want your pie to look fancy schmancy, reserve about 1/4 cup of the cool whip to garnish with at the end.

3. Spread pumpkin/cool whip mixture into the pie crust. Garnish if desired. Pop this little sucker in the freezer for at least four hours.

4. Take out of freezer about 30 minutes before serving. Pin It

No-Bake Strawberry Cake Pie

So the other day while I was avoiding doing my library homework (Oh you didn't know? I'm 25 and working towards my Master's in Library Science) I decided that I just needed to make yet another dessert, but being that my apartment was an brisk 88 degrees, I determined that turning on the oven was seriously not an option. That's when it hit me to make an icebox cake. For those of you who have yet to hit the ripe old age of 25, an icebox is an old school refrigerator. Think "I Love Lucy". Oh wait... you don't know what that is, either. Darn. It.

So anyway, I found a recipe online for an icebox pie, but because I think that I can bake and cook better than everyone else, I decided to alter the square-shaped slop that I stumbled upon via Google.

I made this 36 hours in advance, and it was perfect. I wouldn't recommend making it fewer than 12 hours before serving, as the graham crackers may not have adequate time to absorb the moisture from the whipped cream. Basically, you want the graham crackers to soak up all the yumminess and take on a cakey texture.

Make sure you read the method before you go nuts with assembling the ingredients in a fashion that you feel appropriate!

Ingredients:
2 Cups Heavy Whipping Cream
2 Sleeves graham crackers
2 lbs sliced strawberries
1 tsp lemon extract
1/4ish powdered sugar
2ish ounces of semi-sweet chocolate chips

Method:
1. In a 9 x 9 baking dish, arrange graham crackers so that they completely cover the bottom of the dish without much overlap. I used a deep dish pie plate, which worked just fine, but was kind of a beeyotch because it was round and the crackers are not. I also used honey grahams, but I will probably try chocolate next time. I am actually really excited about trying this!

2. Make whipped cream. Pour all of the whipping cream (less about 2 tbsp) into a cold bowl. Add lemon extract. Go to town with your hand mixer (or stand mixer- for those of who recently got married and got one as a wedding gift!) and beat until you have formed stiff peaks. Slowly add the powdered sugar, tasting before adding more.

3. Spread a layer of whipped cream over the graham crackers.

4. Arrange a layer of strawberries over the whipped cream.

5. Create another layer pattern of graham crackers, whipped cream, and strawberries until you run out. Your last layer should be strawberries.

6. Make ganache! Combine the leftover heavy whipping cream and the chocolate chips and slowly melt over the stove. Once the chocolate has completely melted and there are no cocoa chunks, drizzle over the top of the pie.

7. Chill until ready to serve.

I'm so glad that I decided to clean my stove before snapping these pics!

Go ahead.... spend the $7.50 necessary to complete this glorious concoction. I won't lie to you and tell you that this bomb is part of a heart-healthy diet, but I can assure you that it's actually refreshing and not nearly as dense as some of the other crapola that you'll come across when searching for new recipes on the dub.dub.dub. 

Enjoy and check back later to see what I've cooked up for dinner tonight! Pin It

Pistachio Coconut Pie

I love pistachio pudding and I owe this to my grandmother, who makes an amazing pistachio nut cake. Seriously, I'd eat pistachio stuff everyday, but I've been told that I need to eat a balanced diet, and I assume that horse cartilage (or whatever is in Jell-o) isn't on the food pyramid. Every now and then, though, I like to add a little bit of nuttiness to my repertoire.

So last night, I decided that I would make a pistachio pie for a cookout that my uncle is having. It's freaking hot here on the East Coast, and is therefore, too hot to bake... and wanting to steer clear of the traditional graham cracker crust (I wanted everyone to know that I had slaved away in the kitchen), I searched high and low for a bangin' crust that would leave everyone's jaw on the floor after consuming the dish.

So I bring to you... the Sort of No-Bake Pistachio Coconut Pie.

Ingredients:
2 packages of instant pistachio pudding (If you get sugar-free, I might cry. For real.)
2 cups 2% milk (I am anti-dairy milk [especially if it is not fat-free] for almost everything, but for this, you must go with 2%, otherwise it won't quite thicken the way it needs to)
1 container whipped topping
1/3 cup unsalted butter
2 1/2 cups coconut

Method:
1. Set oven to 350'. Arrange coconut evenly in a 9 x 13 cake pan and put in oven once it has finished preheating. "Stir" the coconut every few minutes, about three times, or until the coconut is lightly browned and toasted. Remove from oven and set aside about a teaspoon of the coconut.

2. Melt butter.

3. Add toasted coconut to melted butter and stir until evenly coated. Press into a regular pie plate. It looks like a lot, but if you press all the way up the sides, you shouldn't have any problems with overflow.

4. Put pie shell in freezer for a few minutes.

5. Mix milk and both packages of pudding together with a hand mixer (I use this Kitchenaid Mixer). Let set for about 2 minutes. Measure 1 1/2 cups of the pudding and spread into the pie shell.

6. Fold whipped topping into remaining pudding. Once fully incorporated, spread over the pudding-filled pie shell.

7. Sprinkle with toasted coconut, if desired.

8. Chill until ready to serve.

Marvelous. I love this pie and so did everyone at the cookout!

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