Chicken Stew (What to do with leftover roaster chicken)

Being that I'm on a diet and making adequate progress (by adequate, I mean that I lose about 2 pounds per week, put the two pounds back on over the weekend, and then lose them again the next week), I am constantly brainstorming on how to make my favorite comfort food dishes a bit healthier. I'm not one to swap out so many ingredients that he final product has zero in common with the original dish, so I usually only change a minor thing or two. For this meal, I substituted cream for flour and salt.

Those of you who still believe that the Atkins Diet is a great way to lose weight, shame on you. And those of you who are shaking your head and thinking thinking that flour has a lot of calories, well shut yo' filthy mouf because while it does contain calories, it does not contain fat. Blah blah, argue with me about how "dangerous" carbs are all you want, but I'll just tune you out and remind myself that my brain on carbs functions better than your clogged arteries on protein.

Anyway, so immediately after I finished consuming my portion of the roasted chicken that I previously posted about, I picked the thing apart and tossed the cooked muscle (not to gross you out, but that's essentially what you're eating when you ravenously consume any animal... it's muscle, but I digress...) into my crock pot. Can we take a moment of silence to truly reflect on how amazing slow cookers are? You can make almost any meal without adding extra fat and oil and you can throw a bunch of stuff together before work and come home to a fragrant house. What I love the best, however, is that when I come home, my dinner is already made, which eliminates my need to eat a granola bar and a yogurt to diminish my nagging hunger pangs before dinner. It's amazing and I think I may celebrate its inventor's birthday.

Like some of my other recipes, some of the measurements arent's exactly accurate, but I'll do my best.

Ingredients:

All the picked chicken from the carcass

6 cups chicken stock (you can either buy this or make your own by boiling bones)

6 carrots (I used the two that were leftover from dinner and chopped another 4), sliced to 1/4" thick

3 celery ribs, chopped
3-4 cloves garlic, pressed

1 onion (I recycled the one from inside the chicken and just chopped it up)

4 potatoes, chopped

Peas (as you see fit)

Chicken drippings (I used all of them, but you could just as easily skip this step to reduce calorie count. Just be sure to season at the end.)

salt and pepper to taste

1/4- 1/3 cup flour mixed with equal parts cool water (this is a guesstimate... I have no idea how much I actually used)

Method:

1. Combine all ingredients aside from salt and pepper and flour in crock pot.

2. Cook for as long as you want (low, medium, high).

3. Just before serving, add the flour/water mixture. The purpose of this step is to thicken up the stew. Add more or less depending on how thick you like it.

4. Season with salt and pepper.

** If you want to go the extra mile, you could easily turn this into a pot pie by pouring it into a crust-lined pie plate and topping it with another crust. Proceed to brushing the top crust with egg wash and poking a few holes for venting. Seal the crust by pressing the edges down with a fork.

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Roasted Chicken

I made a chicken. And I roasted potatoes and carrots under the seven pound bird. That however, was all after I had to rip out the neck, liver, and whatever else caused me to violently gag and say a few things that are too inappropriate for this blog. Anyway, though, the chicken was delicious and may have earned me a few points from my amazing bf.

While I didn't really measure anything out, I'd like to give you an idea of what I did just in case you'd like to bake up a chicken for you sweetheart. 

1. After you remove the innards and all of the gross stuff that I previously spoke of, tie the chicken's legs together with a piece of twine. Being that I did not have twine handy because I used it all wrapping a gift, I used friendship bracelet string. Some of you may refer to it as "embroidery floss." Call it what you will, just be sure to tie up the legs so that your roaster not only looks awesome once it's done baking, but also so that it cooks more evenly.

2. Cut an onion in half. Cover each half in olive oil and garlic. Then, stuff the onions into the gaping hole within the chicken. Can we not talk about that part anymore?

3. Next, find a small bowl and create a rather fragrant mixture of the following herbs. Let's just say  1/4 teaspoon of the following: Rosemary, Sage, Thyme. I may have sprinkled a dash of "Poultry Seasoning" in there, too... who knows what's in that? Mix it all together. Add salt and pepper until it tastes delicious.

4. Add a few cloves (I used 6) of pressed garlic to the salty herb mixture. Now add a few tablespoons of olive oil. Mix around until you have a nice thick paste.

5. Pretend you're a massage therapist and give your chicken a nice oily rub-down. Seriously, though, make sure that you've evenly coated your chicken so as to ensure that every piece of this ol' clucker here will be quite tasty.

6. Plop the bird on top of potatoes, carrots, and any other vegetables that you may fancy. If you're roasting potatoes under the chicken rather than along the sides of the chicken (I think this is how normal people do it), be sure to poke holes in them so that they bake all the way through. 

7. Bake until the thermometer pops up. Wow... you will make an amazing housespouse.

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Flippin' Delicious Apricot Chicken

I am crazy about turning ordinary food and ingredients into tasty, satisfying dishes that leave me feeling full without making me feel like I've just gorged on a few thousand calories. Additionally, I love trying new recipes, but often find myself taking someone else's ingredient card and modifying it about 90% of the way. That's how I came about the dish below. I wanted to find something to do with the apricot preserves that I'd just purchased, but the recipes that I found online all called for a package of french onion soup mix and a bottle of salad dressing. While they all got rave reviews and a full panel of orange stars, I steered clear. For starters, I didn't have any French onion soup mix (how dare I actually keep fresh onions in my cabinets), and because the very thought of loading my healthy chicken up with dressing made my stomach churn. Twice.

I can't offer you a comparison between my version of onion-y apricot chicken and the Lipton-salad dressing-apricot version, but I can definitely asssure you that the tasty delight that I'm moments from presenting will leave you wanting more and wondering why you've been marinating with only teriyaki for so long!

The served this with a side of veggie-sprinkled barley along with steamed broccoli. Perfect.

Ingredients:

2/3 jar apricot preserves

1 very small onion, chopped

1 tbsp butter

1/4 tsp-ish dried parsley (I only added this for color)

1 chicken bullion cube

2 cloves garlic

1 1/2 lbs chicken breast, sliced thin-ish

Method:

1. In a saucepan, melt the butter and saute the onions until they are slightly carmelized.

2. Add garlic and continue to saute for another minute.

3. Reduce heat and add preserves. Once the preserves have "melted", add parsley and bullion. With a spood, break the cube so that it gets distributed more easily.

4. Once ingrdients are incorporated, remove from heat.

5. Spoon preserve mixture over chicken breasts and allow to marinate. I let mine marinate for about 24 hours. You don't have to wait this long, but I did... because I'm awesome.

6. Preheat oven to 350'.

7. Bake for 20-30 minutes, depending on thickness of breasts.

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Sweet Luau Chicken

As of late, I have been experimenting with different marinades. While it's certainly easier to buy a bottle of whatever happens to be on sale, it's a better idea to make your own because not only can you control what chemicals go into it, but also you can alter the flavor to satisfy your current cravings.

I've always had an affinity for anything pineapple, but I've recently discovered that when mixed with other ingredients, it's awesome on chicken, especially in the summer time.

If you wanted to get super fancy and serve these as an appetizer at a party, you could modify the method and put the pineapple and chicken on skewers. You may also consider adding maraschino cherries to the ol' stick so as to add a pop of color. If you're planning to skewer up these bad boys, be sure to soak them in water for half an hour before threading the food on.

Ingredients:
1 can pineapple chunks + all the juice (Make sure you buy pineapple chunks in 100% juice rather than those which come in syrup. This is a sure-fire way to send your dish to Hell in a hand basket.)
1/4 cup soy sauce (it's okay to use the cheap crap)
1/4 cup orange juice
1/2 cup light brown sugar 
1/4 tsp cinnamon
4ish chicken breasts
a few tbsp brown sugar for sprinkling

Method:
1. In a small bowl, whisk together pineapple juice, orange juice, soy sauce, and brown sugars. Whisk until the sugar has dissolved. Now don't get your undies in a twist, because this should only take a couple of minutes.

2. Place trimmed chicken breasts in a prepared baking dish and pour marinade over chicken.

3. Arrange pineapple over chicken and sprinkle with brown sugar. Feel free to add a dash of cinnamon if you'd like; I fully support those who like to shake things up in the kitchen. For me, shaking things up usually involves a whole lot of arm waddle, so you know, I prefer to exercise my lot of creativity when the cucina is free of onlookers.

4. Allow to marinate for as long as you can stand. I allowed mine to chill out for about two hours.

4. Bake at 350' for 20-30 minutes, depending on how thick your breasts are cut. Don't be scared to perform a little plastic surgery and cut into the boobies. Remember, bigger isn't always better. Except of course, in the case of chocolate confections.

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Parmesan Chicken

Have I got it backwards? Did I mean to write "Chicken Parmesan"? Heck no... this was a strategic move, as there is something commonly associated with the term "Chicken Parmesan" that alludes to a dish that is more elaborate than Parmesan Chicken. Let me tell you about a my gripe with Chicken Parmesan. Most people do not know how to make it correctly. It's called chicken PARMESAN for a reason... because there is some sort of non-mozzarella component in there, right? Right.

Well this is how most people make it, and if you fall under this category, no worries. Just know that help is on the way and you'll soon have all the tools necessary to make a bitchin' dinner that involves more explosions than the Fourth of July. Only these little pyrotechnic treats will occur on your taste buds rather than in a sky that sprinkles bird urine from time to time.

This is probably how YOU make CP: Coat chicken with bread crumbs. Cover with sauce. Bake. Put cheese on it 3 minutes before it comes out of the oven. This isn't a bad start, but lemme tell you, something even better is knocking on your door.

Ingredients:
1 pound of chicken breast (I like to pound it down to make scallopini, but whether you like your breasts big or little is your deal, not mine!)
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese (shredded is best, but grated is okay)
1/2 cup breadcrumbs
1 egg
2 or 3 tablespoons water
1/4 cup white flour
salt, pepper, and dried basil to taste

Method:
1. Heat oven to 350'.

2. Get three shallow dishes. Put egg and water in one and whisk away until the skin on your arm begins to waddle. Put flour, salt, pepper, and basil in the second dish. In the remaining dish, combine the cheese and breadcrumbs. Add salt, pepper, and basil to this bowl if desired.

3. Dredge chicken in flour. Simply stated, this means that you should coat both sides of your chicken in the flour mixture.

4. Dip flour-coated chicken in egg mixture. Be sure to completely cover both sides.

5. Now coat chicken with the cheese-breadcrumb mixture.

6. Place in baking dish and bake for 20 minutes. ****

**** If you want to proceed to ruin this dish, ahem, I mean turn this into traditional chicken parm, proceed the following way:

1. Before placing chicken in baking dish, spread a thin layer of sauce on the bottom.

2. Put chicken in dish.

3. Cover chicken with sauce. Jarred or homemade. I don't judge.

4. Bake for 17 minutes. Take out of the oven and melt about a 1/2 cup of mozzarella cheese over the breasts. Slide back into oven and bake for three more minutes, which is all it should take for cheese to melt.

Enjoy!

If you have the time, brine the chicken breast in lightly salted water before attempting to make this dish. This is something you can do the hour before. It is NOT necessary for the success of this chicken, though.

I like to serve this chicken with roasted green beans and red potatoes. Pin It